By Tracy Tsai, PCC, CPC
Feedback is a critical skill for leaders at every level. It serves as a GPS system, providing real-time information that can help you throughout your career journey. For example, if you’re currently navigating the unfamiliar terrain of a new job or role, frequent feedback can ensure you’re on the road to success. Even if you’ve been traveling down the same career path for a while, constructive feedback can reveal potential roadblocks that you may not have foreseen, or highlight alternative routes that might lead to better outcomes.
While most of us acknowledge that giving and receiving feedback in the workplace is an essential skill, it’s common to feel uneasy about actually doing it. In this blog, we will help you navigate the feedback landscape by breaking down how to: 1) ask for feedback proactively, 2) receive feedback with an open mind, and 3) give others feedback effectively and constructively. These strategies can transform the feedback process from a potentially uncomfortable interaction to a powerful catalyst for personal and professional growth.
Navigating the Feedback Landscape
| Feedback Type | Strategy |
| Asking for Feedback |
|
| Receiving Feedback |
|
| Giving Feedback |
|
Asking for feedback
The best way to get feedback from others is to ask for it. However, fear of feedback can make us hesitant to ask for it proactively. Because of this discomfort, we tend to avoid soliciting feedback until our formal performance review, or perhaps wait until others confront us about an issue (at which point the situation has likely already begun to go south). The cost of this approach is missed opportunities for you to continually grow, and ultimately, to advance your career.
For women leaders, it’s all the more crucial to be strategic when asking for feedback. Research has shown that women are more likely to receive vague feedback than men (for instance, “You had a great year!”). Meanwhile, men tend to get more specific feedback tied to business outcomes and receive clearer guidance on what’s needed to get to the next level. In addition, the negative feedback women receive tends to be mostly focused on their communication style.
Unconscious bias is the culprit here, as reviewers were less likely to acknowledge women’s technical expertise and frequently attributed women’s accomplishments to teamwork, rather than leadership. The absence of precise and actionable developmental feedback not only denies women the chance to proactively address issues but also places them at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to career advancement. It’s hard to make a compelling case for promotion when behavioral assessments are not linked to tangible business outcomes.
So what can women leaders do about this? First, recognize that being proactive about seeking feedback is a strength, not a weakness. It shows that you are willing to take control of your development. Secondly, ask for feedback in an intentional way to ensure you’ll get specific and actionable information. Here are some ways to do this:
- Email the person whose feedback you want to solicit ahead of time and request a meeting, rather than approaching them spontaneously. By sending them 2-5 questions in advance, it gives them time to be more targeted and thoughtful with their feedback.
- Make it safe to be honest with you by prefacing the conversation by saying, “Don’t be nice. Be helpful.” If you’re already aware of an area that you might need to improve, it helps to mention it upfront to show it’s safe for them to be candid with you about it.
- Listen with an open mind and ask clarifying questions. It’s natural to feel defensive when receiving negative feedback, so rather than responding right away, take some notes so you can continue to process the conversation later.
- Thank the person for their time and follow up with them once you’ve taken action on the feedback provided, so that they know that you’ve taken it seriously.
Receiving feedback with a growth mindset
Now that you’ve asked for the feedback, it’s time to really listen to it. Feedback can be a powerful catalyst for change, helping you discover strengths you didn’t you didn’t realize you had, or realize when your impact isn’t matching your intent. But for many of us, it’s uncomfortable getting constructive criticism from others. Even if the feedback makes sense intellectually, our initial response usually skews towards defensiveness and resistance. This reaction not only puts up a wall between you and the feedback provider, it also prevents you from being able to utilize their feedback in an effective way.
One way to move past your initial discomfort is to enter the conversation with a growth mindset. Approaching feedback with this mindset allows you to view the experience in a positive light, welcoming the opportunity to better understand how others perceive you. With this perspective, feedback becomes a tool for enhancing self-awareness and provides valuable insight on how you can improve. On the other hand, if you have a fixed mindset, you’re less likely to benefit from the feedback, because you view it as a threat to your self-worth or identity (especially if you tend to be a perfectionist). The difference between these mindsets can have a significant impact on how effectively you’re able to apply the feedback given to you.
If negative feedback often leaves you feeling defeated, a shift in perspective can help. Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big, reminds us that feedback is simply information, and it tells you more about the person giving it than it does about you. In other words, feedback isn’t about your intrinsic value or merit, but rather, it provides insights into the perspective of the person delivering it. Their constructive criticism lets you know what matters most to that individual, and as a result, what you can do to work more effectively with them. This doesn’t mean that you have to act on everything they say. In fact, be discerning about how relevant the feedback is to you and your situation. Ultimately, you get to choose what you do with this information.
Giving feedback
As a leader, being able to give feedback effectively is just as important as knowing how to receive it. Mastering this skill is not only beneficial to the individual recipient, but also contributes to the success of an entire team. That’s because the flow of feedback should not be limited to a top-down approach. By providing feedback to your peers and managers as well, you can strengthen working relationships across all levels of your team and promote a more collaborative work environment.
However, as with asking for feedback, delivering it can also feel like a daunting task.
It’s not surprising then, that a report by Gallup noted that while 87% of employees want to “be developed” in their job, only one-third say they have actually received the feedback they need to improve.
So how can you ensure that your feedback delivery is both meaningful and effective, while also minimizing the discomfort you might feel in the process? Preparation is key, and below are some things to think about before you deliver your feedback:
- Know why you are doing it. What is the intention behind your feedback? Ask yourself how it will serve your recipient, how it will serve you, and how it will serve your relationship.
- Increase the frequency: Feedback shouldn’t be an annual event. Less formal feedback should be part of your regular one-on-one meetings. This way, your colleagues know where they stand and there are fewer surprises.
- Get the timing right: In most cases, the sooner you address an issue, the better. The longer you wait, the more potentially negative impact the issue can have on the team member’s reputation. However, if the situation is emotional, it may be wise to wait a day and not engage in the heat of the moment.
- Be specific: Vague feedback is not helpful, and as the research shows, can sometimes be detrimental to women. Be as specific as possible about the behaviors you are looking for and how they are tied to performance and business goals.
At Her New Standard, we’ve developed a proprietary model called GIFT that helps women leaders structure their feedback in a way that others can hear and act on it. Co-founder Karen Kirchner explains the four-step process in this video.
The GIFT Model
These steps can help you provide feedback more effectively to colleagues of all levels:
- G – Get aligned on common purpose: Identify a common purpose you and the receiver are both working towards. For example, “We are both eager to bring in more business.”
- I – “I feel…” message: Express the main feeling this situation has elicited in you. Examples include, “I’m worried….”, “I’m frustrated….”, “I’m thrilled…..” Using an I statement avoids making the receiver feel attacked.
- F – Facts: Describe the specific behavior you witnessed, without judgments, just facts. For example, “When you ended yesterday’s meeting without asking for reactions…”
- T – Thoughts on the impact their behavior had on you: Describe your thoughts about how this situation impacted you and others involved. Continuing the example above, this could sound like “we lost the opportunity to gauge how our pitch was received.”
In addition to the GIFT model, we also recommend watching this Mini Keynote by Kim Scott, in which the author presents the concepts from her Radical Candor framework. Scott encourages leaders to strike a balance between challenging directly and showing personal care when providing feedback.
One final note–it’s also important to consider inclusivity when you give feedback, as bias comes into play anytime we evaluate others. Knowing this, ask yourself how the feedback you’re giving might be shaped by your own cultural background or experiences. In today’s global workplace, recognizing and respecting different cultural perspectives and values can help you deliver feedback in a way that resonates with individuals from diverse backgrounds.
Asking for feedback regularly, receiving it openly, and giving it generously can be determining factors in whether your career soars or stalls. It takes courage to find out how you’re perceived, but it opens up the opportunity to grow as a leader. And in the meantime, you’ll be building trust and strengthening your relationships.
Interested in learning how HNS can support your women leaders?
Enjoyed this post? You might also like…
